The New Cove Times

[mku77]

Sensational

[flwright]

The New Cove Times
All the News That Fits
V. Heffernan, Editor

Local Teenager Remains in Coma
by Dr. M. Zajaczkowski, Staff Medical Reporter
Dateline August 30, 2007

Bree Hardy, local resident and recent Anchor Cove High School grad, remains in a coma several weeks after being severely injured in a bizarre accident during her freshman orientation week at Harvey Mudd College. Ms. Hardy is well known in Anchor Cove. She is co-world record holder in the woman’s marathon, co-creator and actor in one of the Internet’s most popular video blogs, Lonelygirl15, and was recently nominated for the Nobel Prize in Medicine for her groundbreaking work on the synthesis of erythropoietin from seaweed.

Details are beginning to emerge from the police investigation into the accident, which resulted in Ms. Hardy losing most of her blood. In a desperate effort to save her, doctors placed her into an induced coma to slow her metabolism and reduce swelling to her brain.

Her closest friends Daniel Singer and Jonas N. D. Wales III, both of Anchor Cove, were with her when the accident occurred. We spoke with them this week. Mr. Wales, in a clear, but quiet voice, said, “Daniel and I had packed up two cars worth of books and stuffed animals and followed Bree and her parents to Harvey Mudd. We had decided to stay over the weekend and attend Claremont Carnival, a week long orientation for incoming freshmen at the local colleges.”

Mr. Singer continued to speak, visibly wincing to control his tears, “Bree is like my best friend. I named her Lonelygirl15. I watched her post her First Blog. I put off talking about this for weeks because I loved Bree and I can’t imagine her dead. There is no one on this planet that cares more about Bree than I do.”

He then described the accident, “We had just arrived at a dance with a ‘Life’s a Beach’ theme. There were half a dozen or so large ice sculptures of sea creatures with brightly colored streams of soda flowing through them. Jonas and I had just stepped up to one of them when Bree shouted, ‘Watch out guys’, and pushed us out of the way. It was then we saw a giant pink herring slide off the table, crushing Bree underneath. ”

Mr. Wales spoke in turn, “As her friend, I’m frustrated. Why did Bree almost die to protect Daniel and me?”

Her parents, Stan and Lauren Hardy verified to reporters that doctors at Anchor Cove’s Fermata Memorial Medical Center will attempt to bring her out of her coma late next week. Mr. Singer concluded, “Her parents have some very serious decisions to make. Do they continue to keep her alive or simply let her go? I still have hope. I brought her favorite stuffed animal, Purple Monkey so she would have something to play with when she wakes up.”

[elixir]

Hehehe! Great work, Frank!