A Family Affair [08.24.07]

[suze900]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyM3oFTInoc

Description: "Thanks to charles phoenix, cbd, and logbox for solving the puzzle in the LaRezisto video. I decided to stop moping around and go see my family." - Jonas Faction: THE RESISTANCE

Music:
"Shoot to Kill" by Jared Scharff & the Royals
"Black Top" by Caution Cat
"The Hymn" by the Hymn of One

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Dear sweet 8 lb 6 oz Baby Jesus, but that was the weirdest one yet. My brain hurts. I don't even want to watch it again. This is the first time I've actually been pissed about an LG15 video.

ETA: on the other hand, maybe the credits will show that David Lynch was the director of this video. I'm as confused as I was the first time I watched Mulholland Drive.

Anyway, I'm outta here. Hope you guys get it all sorted out over the next few weeks!

[Terryfic]

6:56?! this is like the War and Peace of LG.

The puzzle that Jonas references was the one in the last Resistance video with the morse code, it seems like LG is sticking with these ultra simplistic puzzles and leaving the insano hard puzzles for Maddison Atkins.

They sure summed up the will Jonas find his parent storyline pretty quick. It was also very strange how accepting his family was considering to them he was just a crazy person insisting he was their forgotten son. Overall, I wasn't blown away by the video, but I did enjoy the HoO guys arrived, despite it being so obvious that they would. Jonas was though surprisingly accommodating to people he considers murders. He needs to get Miep to show up and kick some tuckus if he isn't going to.

Also, them talking in unison at the end was hilarious. It is like they were a bunch of zombies chanting for brains.

[suze900]

terryfic said:

6:56?! this is like the War and Peace of LG.

The puzzle that Jonas references was the one in the last Resistance video with the morse code, it seems like LG is sticking with these ultra simplistic puzzles and leaving the insano hard puzzles for Maddison Atkins.

The weird thing is, I looked on the forum, and the only "solution" I saw was that they had narrowed down the coordinates to the Simi Valley post office! Somehow Jonas got from there to his parents' house. Seems fishy to me

[hyemew]

OK that's kinda sorta really annoying. Just like the ceremony, something which is built up to slowly for months (Jonas discussing his parents, what happened to them, receiving hints they might be alive, etc.) suddenly getting taken head on out of nowhere. And did he REALLY think showing up at their door saying "hi dad, it's me!" was going to work on these amnesiacs?

LOL how he somehow got himself into the house even though the dad clearly whispered "he's crazy" to the wife, and now he's talking to the camera "they don't remember me!" as the parents discuss with much concern all that unfolds around them. Can you seriously imagine being in this situation, I mean barging in on the parents who you thought were dead for years, having them not remember you and get really scared- and you end up just sitting down on their couch telling the obvious to your friend the camcorder? It's all so absurd. Even if I wasn't scared of Jonas randomly showing up at my door, the minute he sits down in a corner and starts talking to his camera is when I call the men in white.

The actress Emma appears to be about 19 and acting much younger. She's not nearly as convincing as Jess as a younger girl (though Jess's age gap wasn't huge either, those molars were a dead giveaway if you remember though lolz), and this whole long-lost 'omg I have a sibling' reunion thing smacks of total sitcom cliche. Also seeing as this sister does not look like she could possibly be younger than 14, and Jonas's parents disappeared in 2000... why haven't they ever met? And what made Jonas's parents suddenly remember him, since they were playing dumb for so long? And they never discussed why they randomly disappeared and left him thinking they were dead, he just accepted it?

Haha note to self, if I ever suddenly meet some people who are my real family and yet have no recollection of me, number 1 priority at the top of the list is play charades. That'll solve everything. Meanwhile Emma's jet black dyed hair is really distracting (in a bad way). I 'like' when they got Star Wars first Jonas said "that was great" and then his mom giggled the same line. And then "time for bed Emma?!" Are they SERIOUSLY trying to pass this late-stage teen off as a six year old?? She reacted to her call to bed time with clear acceptance and glee, despite the fact I don't even know any 9 year olds let alone 19 year olds who'd like being told they have a bed time. Speaking of bed time I keep expecting this whole strange episode to turn out to be a dream, but as we know you can't have dreams filmed in the Breeniverse (except possibly that one time Daniel flashed back to his grandmother's funeral with artistic footage of him as a child running around her grave from afar, because there's like a 0.01% chance he could have actually have that, both with such good quality since it was taken in the early 90s and actually having that video tape on him while he was on the run.)

Umm so anywhere where am I now? I don't know but I'm still really perturbed by her acting really young and the fact we're actually supposed to believe she's a child. Haha how the mom was like "oh I forgot to tell you we have guests come over on Fridays, it's just something that we do..." She says it so sketchily, as if she needed to explain to Jonas the fact that they entertain guests on Friday nights, like it was something way out of the ordinary. Now I can surmise from reading the comments here that these guests will be HoO members, so that IS out of the ordinary, however it makes no sense trying to rationalize to the person who just randomly showed up at your door claiming to be your son that you have friends over on the weekend.

Jonas discussing what to wear with his mom... Jackson's acting is pretty annoying in this because he's just always acting so perfect and chipper with her. I know he's excited to be reunited with his mom, but I don't know... and the whole thing is totally stepford as well.

I love how he conveniently throws down his camcorder in such a way that it manages to capture him in his grief. I also love that Carl shows up since he's sooooo creepy I love to hate him. Why would fully grown parents hang out with the much younger Carl and Sonya?

"Jonas, gather our hands and sing out." Those Hymn of Oners should make sure their chants are grammatically correct before accepting them into their mass, because that line is just so unnatural. I was surprised to see he hadn't fled the house after he ran from his mom, not sure why he stayed.

Basically this episode was a huge strange failure. There was so much which needed to be addressed on camera- the discussion of what happened during the past 6 years, how they felt about what happened to him, everything that's gone on, there was so much that NEEDED to be discussed. We've been following this story line for ages. Instead, they conveniently skipped right over everything, Jonas actually getting into the house post them thinking him to be crazy and wanting to close the door on him, the parents' reaction after having their talk and going over to Jonas and admitting they remember him, or even that they don't but that they believe him, or who knows what. No, all we get is "here lets meet your 3-going-on-30 year old sister for the first time even though she is clearly old enough to have been born before our deaths" and now instead of discussing the important matters with you lets play Charades!
MAJOR WTF?!

[hyemew]

I just skimmed the video again. I get more and more crepped out seeing an 18 year old having to pretend she's 6 every time. It's just so... unnatural, I mean what are they trying to do here?

I'm guessing "Jonas's sister" is going to be a recurring character, since she clearly wasn't introduced for nothing. As Jonas said "we're going to get along well", that's supposed to indicate a strong attachment formed for her in that very short amount of time. Obviously it'd be pretty hard to find a 6 year old to play such a part, especially when it comes to the presumed future demands and drama she'll go through. So they got someone older to play someone young, while dropping hints like that she has a bedtime to reinforce the fact she's actually 6... hiding her developed figure beyond that baggy sweatshirt.
Cause there's nothing freakier than a 6 year old with boobs.

I'd of course prefer the above scenario to not be true, since for them to actually try to pass this girl off as a 6 year old is a complete insult to their audience. Instead I'd like to think they threw plot holes to the wind by just accepting the fact Jonas's parents did not disappear in 2000 like once claimed but that it was another good 10 years before that. Evidence to support this is the picture of Jonas as a little kid on the table and that the parents didn't recognize him at first (though it goes unexplained why they didn't seem to recall having a son, ever, or why they picked up and moved a few towns away and started a new life without him). During those 15 years they lost their memory, moved, and had this sister for Jonas. That'd be a less messy way of dealing with it- since we can say Jonas's nanny raised him from 6 instead of 16 and just pretend he never mentioned that back in his earliest vlogs. Of course this theory is slapped in the fact by the clearly childish demeanor of the actress and the fact she has a "bed time". What we have here is a late teenage actress acting like a 6 year old, and the scary thing is I actually think they mean for her to be a 6 year old.

Oh and how coincidental, the HoO is hanging around, perhaps she's the next ceremony girl and will need to be saved. How convenient (and infuriatingly cliche) after losing his sugermama Bree to the HoO, they're now after his sister. Can't the kid get a break?

[jackwinderberry]

well, kudos to the poster above me for writing a novel obliterating this episode. well well done. that's why i decided to start posting here, to join in the crazy coolie fun.

i have two words: FUCKING CHARADES?

[curiousgeorge]

WTF was this? I don't even know where to begin...

[Alissa Brooke]

I actually liked that one... hmmmm

[hyemew]

Care to give us even one reason why?

[robtomorrow]

Just glanced over the comments over at the Phorum, the people who are bringing up the inconsistencies are the few early generation of Phorumites left over there, BallsyMcD pointed out the age problem.

Some are suggesting that she is adopted, placed with Jonas's parents by the Order, but there are problems with that scenario. First, she would of been adopted at a late age and so would know she is adopted {unless she is brainwashed too ), second, Jonas would certainly know he didn't have a adopted sister when his parents disappeared.

I get the impression the writers aren't even trying to make sense of this story anymore.

[Terryfic]

robtomorrow said:

Just glanced over the comments over at the Phorum, the people who are bringing up the inconsistencies are the few early generation of Phorumites left over there, BallsyMcD pointed out the age problem.

Just like when I watched Terminator II I had a feeling there was an age problem, but was too lazy to do the leg work to confirm it.

It is funny after all the videos this month referencing early season I, they then don't even take the time to check how old Jonas was when he left. But clearly the solution to this, and Hye, the reason she acts so young, is that she really is young like only 6 but ages super fast. This is a disease people in the Order get... ummm... because that helps the plot along, and they use the ceremony girls blood to slow it down so they don't burn out faster. To the average person this looks like them trying to extend their life to become immortal but really they are just trying to live a normal life. And of course at someone point Jonas will find out that it was some of Bree's blood that was already used to save his sister. He then has an existential crisis about helping the resistance because it will mean condemning girls like his sister to a short unhappy life.

That or she is really Cassie in disguise, or Jonas is really 30 (only remembering his parents having left 6 years ago because he spent an additional 10 years in a coma that he is unaware of) and has just aged well, or the resistance is really the a It's a Wonderful Life style guardian angel and is showing suicidal Jonas what his family would have been like if he was never born.... turns out they were a-ok - that sort of ruins the effect Capra was going for.

[hyemew]

Her dyed jet black hair with pale skin kind of reminds me of how a potential CassieZomb could look like. I like the hypothesis that this is Capra-directed, it's the only one that makes sense.

[oweniscool]

jackwinderberry said:

well, kudos to the poster above me for writing a novel obliterating this episode. well well done. that's why i decided to start posting here, to join in the crazy coolie fun.

i have two words: FUCKING CHARADES?

Welcome Jack! Sounds like you'll fit right in.

And go Hye for inspiring others to post. Oh, and for predicting that Emma will be a ceremony girl as well. She's likely not really their daughter (but just in a protected home, like Bree was). It's only a matter of time, isn't it?

Now my thoughts:

*I don't understand why the HoO converted Jonas's parents, but not Jonas. Should have been easy enough, no?
* It didn't bother me so much that his sister was acting like a child. Actually, it was what tipped me off that something was even more wrong than we knew. I thought it was just remains of the brainwashing (I mean, gee, they did FORGET they had a son), but I didn't realize it meant that they were still following the HoO religion.
* Yep, his parents did remember him way too quickly. Oh, and Emma was such the well-adjusted girl for accepting Jonas into the family right off the bat like that. How about "wtf, mom? You forgot he was yours? What if you forget me like that?"
* I agree that it went to quickly for how much buildup it had... we've been wondering about his parents for months, and that's it? they were living down the street? Whatever, dude.
*I was still ok with this video (esp compared to LaRezisto ones) up until they started chanting. I just can't reconcile how alluring the HoO is supposed to be compared to how LAME it is onscreen. Just like I can't reconcile how powerful the Order is supposed to be compared to how stupid they actually are.
* The charades were also totally wtf, but I saw it as another sign of them having become the Cleavers, and just being a really cheesy lalala sitcom suburban family. I would have much preferred Jonas asking some hard-hitting questions (e.g., "sooo, what have you been up to these past 7 years?)

[hyemew]

Hahaha amzing OwenisCool. I have a couple possible answers to your question:

"I don't understand why the HoO converted Jonas's parents, but not Jonas. Should have been easy enough, no?"

I sense it was some sort of Voldemort-esque thing where Jonas uses his magical skateboard powers to fight them off but then falls off the family roof and is left for dead. The family is brainwashed and taken, Jonas comes to and the last thing he can remember was his parents dinner party at the yacht club from a few weeks before.
Oh yeah, and he's left with an eye-shaped scar from the fall.

"Oh, and Emma was such the well-adjusted girl for accepting Jonas into the family right off the bat like that. How about "wtf, mom? You forgot he was yours?"

Just wanted to point out this line made me crack up. I can only assume that Emma actually has an IQ which hovers somewhere around 35 which causes her to both act younger than she looks and have the memory-span of a goldfish.

I mean come on Creators, if and ONLY if you needed to make the girl older (her being adopted by the family like Bree was, just at an older post-Jonas age, is actually a very good and viable one. The way it was handled though destroys that. If she truly was that old she wouldn't be acting like a 6 year old. And her parents wouldn't have temporarily forgotten Jonas existed and showed up living in a different house down the road. I mean sure you forget Jonas, but did you ALSO forget about your house up north and the frikkin MAID! And the fact that there were periodic withdrawls from your account by your lawyers to pay the bills and the maid over all those years? And if they really ARE that rich why did they forsake the (alleged mansion)-living maid-owning high-life for the surburban dystopia they now inhabit? Jeez the more I think about it the more unresolvable questions appear, I've got to stop.) Uhh what was I saying?
Ahh yes, now if they had to push back Jonas's time of separation to explain why he has a pretty old younger sister, that's fine, I'll give it to you, you're making it up as you go along after all. But if you're going to do that, do NOT freak us out with her disturbingly arrested development. Watching a clearly post-pubescent girl giggle and have bed times and all that scares me to no end. It's like 90210 all over again.

[robtomorrow]

oweniscool said:

*I was still ok with this video (esp compared to LaRezisto ones) up until they started chanting. I just can't reconcile how alluring the HoO is supposed to be compared to how LAME it is onscreen. Just like I can't reconcile how powerful the Order is supposed to be compared to how stupid they actually are.

Every religion has a dogma, a doctrine or set of beliefs, even weird cults have a dogma. The dogma is what holds together and captivates it's followers, but in the case of the HoO we don't have a clue what that dogma is.